Back to School

I can still remember when autumn approached; it meant it was time for me to start thinking about how to prepare my boys for the beginning of the school year.  They were excited about starting school, but I knew we would all need more than their excitement to make it a smooth transition.  I could tell from their many questions that they were also feeling nervous and a bit uncertain.  Our summer routines were filled with family fun and lots of one-on-one time with mom and dad.  We all needed a bit of preparation and extra help with what was actually a rather dramatic change in our lives.  It was hard to think that I wouldn?t be spending as much time with them throughout the day. Separation anxiety, also known as ?back-to-school jitters,? would kick in not only for the boys, but a little bit for me, too.

I, of all people, knew how full of excitement and fun preschool and kindergarten were going to be for them.  However, they were facing the unknown, and I had to remind myself to stop, listen and answer their questions as best I could.  I can also tell you, from experience, that planning ahead can make all the difference.  If you prepare your child by making a few simple adjustments to your routine, you can actually enjoy the milestone instead of feeling anxious and frenzied. Take a look at the following suggestions and see which ones might work for your family.  Some of these ideas actually worked for us, while I confess that others would have been great, had I not thought of them in hindsight.

1.    Establish a daily routine that will fit your family?s schedule when school starts.  Ask everyone to do his or her best to stick to it and don?t wait until school begins.  Start at least two weeks before the first day of school.  You might need to make some adjustments along the way, but do your best to follow the routine throughout the year.  A consistent routine enables children to anticipate what comes next and is a powerful source of security.

2.    Include daily tasks and decisions that can be taken care of the night before in your routine.  It?s amazing how much smoother getting through the morning can be when you?re not running around looking for backpacks or deciding what to wear.

3.    Make story time a bedtime routine.  For many children, story time is their favorite time of day because they have your undivided attention. Make it the same time every night and early enough for you and your children to get a good night?s sleep. It was a very special time for my family.  My boys loved piling up in the bed together every evening and listening to stories.  They also used this time to tell us about their friends, what they were worried about or anything else that was on their minds.

4.    One of the best ways to help children deal with unfamiliar situations is to find a book that includes a character in a similar situation.  Reading stories about imaginary characters starting school gives children an opportunity to imagine what their own experience might be and to express their feelings or fears.  It?s often the anticipation of the unknown that makes children anxious about school.

5.    Before leaving your child at school for the first time, have him or her stay with a grandparent or a babysitter for increasingly longer periods of time. This is one of the best ways for a child to learn to trust that you will always return.

6.    Tour the school with your child. Visit the classroom and meet the teacher. If time allows, take a look at the playground. A school preview will make the places and faces feel more familiar and safe on the first day.

7.    Set the stage and rehearse. Talk to your children about school and help them visualize what the day?s activities are likely to be.

8.    Shop for school supplies. Even if the school doesn?t require that you purchase any, you can buy a set of ?school supplies? for home.  Children love shopping for paper, crayons, markers and tape. Give your child an opportunity to pick out a few items he or she likes (within reason, of course) to provide a sense of ownership and responsibility in the decision-making process.

9.    When dropping your children off at school, it?s best not to carry them to the classroom because they will feel more independent and grown-up if they walk. This is a way to send your children the message that you have confidence in them and the school by cheerfully saying goodbye and promising to return later. The longer you stay the less confidence your child will have in being ?left? at school.

10.    Establish a partnership with your child?s teacher and the school?s other staff. Children look for emotional cues from their parents? behavior. The more comfortable you are with your child?s teacher, the more comfortable your child will be. Starting school should be an exciting time for families, not a source of anxiety! If you feel confident and prepared for the transition, your child will feel the same.